Our Father, Who Eats in Heaven — You Know How You Do

On mornings when I'm not going to the gym I've been managing to get my morning meditation in. The only way I've been able to do this is not make it an absolute rule. Absolutes are my nemesis right now. My 'All or Nothing' personality is the root of a lot of my shit lately.

i finished the meditation and found this little guy sitting at the entrance to my closet looking at me. jeff is in emeryville for a conference so he's been a bit more needy. i invited him in and he climbed into my lap. i picked a random journal to read a couple of passages which is part of the morning meditation ritual.

it's amazing how small i tried to make myself. how little space i tried to take up in the world.

i literally hid behind a potted plant of an office atrium.

i don't know how i managed to block so many of these memories from my current self.

it's raining again after two glorious days of sunshine. it might be enough to carry me to the next sunny day without driving me into a pizza craving insanity.

chai tea with bobby, puppies and raiding a fundraising bakesale at Jet Black this weekend helped. running into my favorite maria g. helped too. just enough goodness. just enough to refill the emptying stores to make it to the next day.