what would you do if you weren't afraid?

it used to be, wear a 2 piece bathing suit.

i’m now 3 summers of my white b-shaped belly making the rounds in rivers and kiddie pools and oceans.

my body is no longer scary to me. we’re getting to know one another. we’re taking it slow though. we have tea and talk about what hurts. and as if by magic, it hurts a little bit less.

i still don’t want people to get any ideas about us though. we’re not trying to change each other. we’re trying to make it easy, starting with real butter on toast and whipped cream on hot chocolate. and now we’ve made it to bikini status. maybe one day we’ll say ‘i love you’ to one another as we slowly caress each scar. ‘it’s ok. i love you.’ to each inch of dimpled skin, the curve of each calf, each fine delicate eyelid. ‘you’ve done so much for me.’ to each rounded finger, each jagged bitten fingernail. ‘and i appreciate you.’ running our hands through our slick hair.

we’re going to be fine.