chopped

i can’t stop scrolling.
i have the list of how to do it. i know the only way is to choose to stop. sit in the closet. hide the phone. give the laptop to my husband. don’t let me have it if i ask for it. sit with my own thoughts and not the billions of thoughts of other people. they can’t tell you what you need.

put your phone in the toilet. make the decision to read a book. that one that’s like if harry potter was a nigerian girl in africa. you read it already but it was really good and it made you forget it was 2am as you turned page after page after page. center down. play chopped in your kitchen. make mystery baskets of random food and set a timer. you have 30 minutes to make a meal of 2 different kinds of beans, parmesan rinds, spring roll wrappers and a banana. your husband tells you you watch too much reality competition tv. you tell him better a cooking show than american ninja warrior and ask him if he’d like to judge your meal. he eyes the banana on the counter and says no.