charlie

let me love the world the way i love my dog, running frantically towards me in a panic, a foxtail in his paw, a deep anxiety, stranger danger, ailments and things he will never be able to tell me but i try and fix anyway. a trip to the vet to have them tell me there’s nothing wrong, but there is, there is, look in his eyes. charlie grinds his teeth. doggie prozac is the same as human prozac.

let me love the world i may never understand. maybe it’s not about understanding but just loving anyway because people are complicated and can’t tell you what’s wrong in a way you’ll understand and we don’t have time to wait for a reason that makes sense.

this is what i know. things that i never thought forgivable, eventually are. i want to be soft and easy, like this belly, pliant and giving and warm.

let me love, like charlie, asking for help with no shame. i’m but a small creature in a world too large for me, we both say. this is what we know.