Day 61 Proof of Life
When I eventually go and someone inevitably goes through my phone & opens the Notes app:
May 12, 2020
The Genetic Memory of Migrating Monarchs to Mexico
Started watching a Stephen Fry doc about traveling through Mexico and Latin America and I walked away with making up this tongue twister and wondering if I’ll ever go to Mexico again so my brain can freeze and forget all this Spanish I’m paying someone to teach me.
May 10, 2020
Once this season of Survivor is over I won’t know what day Wednesday is anymore.
May 1, 2020
Note to Self: I am a 42 year old woman. Do not under any circumstances let me buy a Nintendo Switch so I can play Animal Crossing.
Note to Self Actualized Self: There’s nothing wrong with it, buy it and play games with your friends. It’s ok.
April 20,2020
Despite the pandemic, my blood pressure has dropped by 15 whatever unit of measurement I cant’t be bothered to look up or know. 15 whole whatevers! It’s because I left my job. It’s because of cereal and half a 1:1 gummy for dinner. It’s because I stopped wearing a bra. It’s because time is now a nebulous blob. It’s because I’m now a nebulous blob. It’s because I think my double chin is cute. It’s because I do whatever the fuck I want now. Except go outside.
April 15, 2020
The plant store had a re-stock that went live online at 10AM. At 10:20AM they were sold out of everything but those little succulents that look like brains. The plant store sold out of plants. The plant store sold out of plants in 20 minute and people started to complain online.
Plants are the new toilet paper.
April 11, 2020
“Do I actually look like this?” I said out loud on our video call.
“Like what?” J. asked, completely amused.
”Like…thiiiiiiis,” I gesticulated wildly with my right hand over and around my face.
”Yes,” he answered. “For most of your adult life actually.”
”You are all horrible people,” I said and we laughed, not quite sure if we found any of it funny at all, but it felt good to laugh.
April 10, 2020
Good Friday.
I want to Postmates easter candy or slurpees from 7-11 to my door but I don’t want to be “that person” whoever “that” person is. Like I don’t have enough redeeming qualities to forgive myself for being “that” person.
I guess I have to keep going to therapy.
April 1, 2020
April Fools is cancelled this year. Don’t be an assface.
March 28, 2020
E. left the video call without saying anything to anyone and we all assumed someone said something to make him mad.
He came back 15 minutes later. He just needed to buy cigarettes.
Is that the new Irish Goodbye?
March 25, 2020
It’s Jeff’s birthday. I made a construction paper banner. It keeps falling off the wall because I only have this weak-ass reusable good-for-the-environment compostable scotch tape and only he knows where the good stuff is hidden, the stuff that smells like chemicals and sweat and our dad’s toolboxes. But I want to surprise him. Like he can’t smell the chocolate cake in the oven. Or hear me curse over and over as the banner falls. Like I hadn’t asked him the night before if we had any construction paper. Like you can even surprise someone you’re quarantined with.